Ms. Deepali Bedi (Clinical Psychologist)

I am never able to achieve the goals that I set for myself? I cannot sustain the drive in me?

As said by Paulo Coellho, “Whenever you want to achieve something, keep your eyes open, concentrate and make sure you know exactly what it is you want. No one can hit their target with their eyes closed.” To achieve the goals we need to keep our eyes open and define our goals keeping in mind the following points:  

I. Setting Smart Goals: In today’s world we need to be smart workers more than being hard-workers. Smart workers target for SMART goals.

Examples of specific measurable time-bound goals:

·         I will speak confidently in front of my boss without anxiety in 6 months.

·         I will loss 3Kg in 2 months.

·         I will quit smoking in 2months.

·         I would sell my product to 2 new clients in one month.

II. Knowing one’s optimal arousal: When our goals are too high, unachievable or unrealistic, we soon lose our interest and stay laid back with no drive to achieve the goal. Thus the Smart goal has to be achievable and realistic.

It is also important that our Smart achievable/ realistic goals aren’t aimed too low. As Michelangelo Buonarroti said, “The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.” The Yerkes-Dodson curve for stress and performance indicate the importance of optimum arousal. Thus our achievable/ realistic goal should be in the range of optimum arousal i.e. achievable with optimum pressure and efforts.

III. Kick start: As Aristotle said, “Well begun is half done.” So beginning is very important. To give yourself a kick start

v  Visualise: Muhammad Ali said "The man who has no imagination has no wings." Visualise the success of the goal in detail about the changes it would bring for us and how these changes are important for us. This would give you wings to fly to your goal.

v  Buddy: "You cannot lead where you do not go." Make a buddy who has achieved similar goal with whom you share your goal and the importance of the goal for you. Buddy would help you formulate the steps to achieve the goal. The buddy will help you monitor and reinforce you to your goal.

IV. Breaking goals into Manageable steps: For instance, in order to eat bread we break them into pieces before we chew, similarly our goals need to be broken down into micro goals or smaller, bite-sized steps with all of the characteristics we’ve outlined, each of which moves us closer to our ultimate smart goal.

•         Ex: I will speak confidently in front of my boss without anxiety in 6 months

Practice speaking in front of the mirror. After speaking evaluate your performance. Praise yourself for every achievement and let you buddy know.

Now practice this same chuck with your buddy for his feedback. Practice till you feel confident.

Initiate small talks with colleagues and official friends. Followed by talks with the boss.

V. Get off your “but”: As said by Lao Tzu, ““Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.” So if you have a “but” you will not achieve your goal. So analyse your thoughts and address your “buts”

VI. Step wise reinforcement: Kevin said that encouragement helps instil courage so that one can stand up and keep pressing forward. Thus it is important to appreciate oneself on the achievement of every step towards the goal.

 Obstacles are things we see when he takes our eyes off our goal. So Keep your eye on your goal and get free of you hitches till you achieve your goal and make success your habit.